I guess having good looks can be used to my advantage. I'm not in any way trying to sound fucking cocky, cause please slap me if ever I was. So I have a professor who's hella lenient with me, why? I guess cause of my looks, I mean, I see him shamelessly checking me out in class. And picture this, he's a short, stubby scottish man with white hair. I was supposed to receive a poor grade for my first exam cause to be quite honest, I bullshitted my way through with that test and talked out of my ass when writing my 2 essays. Anyhow, today I get my paper back from him, I've spent hours on this paper and he was so misleading when he said not to use too many citations from the book. I've used one, and seriously I got a fucking C for the paper. I was talking to my other classmates and they must've used a few citations as well, but they managed to get a 0 for the paper. So I'm discussing my paper with him after class and he puts me on the spot saying oh yeah other kids in the class received a 0 and you skimmed by, and I get the vibe that he wants me to like get on my fucking knees, thank him and give him a blow job while at it. I was thinking are you fucking kidding me?! But I just uttered out the words "thank you" and gave him what he wanted to hear, a "I'm forever grateful" flash a smile and leave. Seriously I feel like I'm really busting my ass for no reason. I want to be acknowledged by my hard work and dedication, not by my looks. To contradict myself, if I'm really struggling in a class I will count on my looks and puppy faces to pass. But seriously, what the fuck! I know I should probably be flattered but I'm hella fucking offended.

Anyhow Halloweens around the corner and I've got no idea what to be. I guess I'm just gonna throw some shit together and look like a glorified slut. I'm gonna make mom proud. But that's the cardinal rule of Halloween, no? It's the one day of the year girls can dress like skanks and not be criticized about it. I learned this from watching Mean Girls. haha

So my mom has been avoiding me and keeping her secrets under wraps. Why? I don't even know and I come home so late from school that I never have time to talk to her, and during the weekends I'm at a local starbucks reading and writing papers. I've even caught shit from my friends saying how I'm selfish and I'm never there for them because of the fact I stay in to do my homework. I don't think anybody understands where I'm coming from and most of the time as I'm working on my school work I get guilt tripped. So I ditch my school work, and it's fucking biting me in the ass now cause I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT A TRANSFORMER IS! FUCK! LOL!

The weathers terrible here, rain all week! There's nothing to do but stay in and NomNomNom*. Anyhow, I was chit chattering with my friends and we got to talking about personal ads on Craig's list, and just laughing. I get off on peoples desperation. Anyhow, I'm browsing through that and I see an AD with MY FACE on it!! And there's a paragraph about me that was copy and pasted from some of the entries I've wrote about myself here, and some other things that I've said. AND it was on the w4w section. I KNEW IT WAS MY FRIENDS! AND ha ha ha! Very funny guys. They made up a email for people to contact me and they forwarded some emails of like big black girls that say they wanna suck my pussy, and they have no shame sending nudie pics of themselves. I was just grossed out! UGHHH. I'm getting the shivers thinking about it.

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I'm camera less and I really want to get into photography. I need to invest in a camera but it's pretty rough with no income at the moment. I'm applying to jobs everyday and just waiting for callbacks. Wish me luck, cause I need all that I can get. If I could, I'd totally be a repo woman! That job sounds hella fun.

In life, you're bound to do things you'd regret. One of the top things that come to mind would be a tattoo. In some ways I regret all my tattoos, but hey! at least I didn't get anyone's initials inked on me...

WRONG!

Unfortunetly I did. I wish I could say I was shit housed drunk and I was given couple millions to do so. But, no I was completely sober. It was some fingers of years ago, 'spur of the moment' kind of thing. Anyway I have the initials 'GTS' inked on my wrist, it stands for Gina,Tina,Sam, but now I tell people it stands for Gangster True Story, and the 5 stars behind my ear are the number of people I've killed. Plays together really well, no?
Anyway, that tattoo was to symbolize our friendship.There's not much of that friendship going on anymore, so it defeats the purpose. I don't know whether I should keep it for it's memories or just cover it and start my sleeves. Then again momma says it's bad for business to get sleeves, and I really don't like reflecting back on memories. So I'm at a standstill, any suggestions?


Lucky I didn't get this!